The Top 10 List for Living with a Diva
The Top 10 List for Living with a Diva
1. Make no plans that would involve your Diva on Saturday mornings between 7:00 AM and at least noon. This includes sex, or other chores like childcare, cooking etc.
2. Learn to frequently and spontaneously announce My wife (girlfriend/partner etc.) actually saves us money with her bargain shopping. The more she shops the more we save.”
3. Feed her grapes while massaging her feet after a tough day of resale shopping.
4. Learn to live with less closet space. After all, a Discount Diva needs the space for a variety of outfits so she looks good for you. She on the other hand, prefers that you have fewer clothes as she derives comfort in seeing you sporting the same thing day after day.
5. See the huge pile of assorted “junk” in the garage as potential treasures”items she has every intention of making over some day.
6. Never refer to her bargain shopping as a hobby. It is a well-honed skill.
7. Learn the clever art of discreet tag removal. This move comes in very handy when your Diva accidentally leaves the 50 cents tag on that expensive looking blouse she is trying to impress others with. A bonus move involves stretching your arm around her shoulders and pulling her close to you for a big kiss while your concealed free hand removes the pesky tag. Her friends will be none the wiser and will be even more envious that she has such an affectionate guy and a great blouse.
8. When you give her some WAM (walking around money), make sure it is in large quantities and includes small denominations. (We prefer it in wads of ones, fives, and tens”pre-sorted and wrapped in rubber bands.)
9. Learn the art of haggling so she can call you in to be the bad guy while she feigns total embarrassment (or stands at a safe distance).
10. Don’t ever buy her an appliance as a gift (unless it is small, hand held and arrives in your mailbox in a brown paper wrapper).